The ‘Tyranny of Schedules and Habits’
When we imprison ourselves by self-imposed expectations and unhelpful habits
Last weekend over breakfast I was reading this interesting article about Cheng Lei*, who was recently nominated by The Australian newspaper as their Australian of the Year. Cheng Lei is an Australian journalist, who was imprisoned in China for espionage allegations for three years. In this article she spoke about incarceration as a time when she learned to “tame [her]mind”, which enabled her to get through this ordeal. In fact, she noted how she perceived the wardens in prison as having less freedom than she did – because her mind was free.**
What resonated strongly with me was when she described her time in prison as a way “out of the tyranny of schedules and habits”. Wow, this woman was confined to a tiny space, not being allowed to go about her normal life, having to adhere to strict prison rules and obey the wardens’ demands – yet she felt freed from the burden of schedules and habits!
And it’s so true! We DO imprison ourselves through self-imposed rules, expectations, routines, schedules, and habits. I do it, for sure! My daily routines are the same most days – I get up, I get ready, I go to work, I do my work, and then some more, and then I exercise, go home, sleep, repeat.
There are a lot of benefits to having routines: They give us predictability and structure; we can rely on them, and they help us do what we need to do. Kind of like a scaffold supporting a house or a structure that is being worked on. With routines, we know what to expect: We get up, we get ready, we go to work, we eat at set times, we go to sleep. No guess work, smooth, seamless.
Children do really well with routines, daily rituals that act like timekeepers. We learn that there is structure to life, that there are things to expect and that gives trust, certainty, and predictability. All of those are incredibly important for us humans. When we feel that we can’t control what might happen to us or around us, when there is uncertainty, we get anxious. That’s how our minds work.
No wonder we get annoyed when the Bureau Of Meteorology’s (BOM) weather forecast is not as accurate as we want it to be. “The app said it wasn’t going to rain, and now it’s raining” (and of course, I didn’t take an umbrella and now I am getting all wet and it’s all the BOM’s fault).
The point is, when there is uncertainty or unpredictability, then routines and structure give us a sense of control. But like with most things, too much is not good either! Too rigid routines can be just as stifling as having no routines at all. When we live our lives by the clock, rushing and running to meet self-imposed deadlines because “that’s what I always do”, then we might do more harm than good.
Granted, in our Western world it’s hard not to live by the clock: School starts at the same time every morning, and most workplaces have set start and finish times for their employees. Unfortunately those set start and finish times can create havoc for our in-built body clocks: Think of shift workers who have to perform at nights, when we are designed to sleep and recover. That requires significant effort and strategies to manage and meet one’s needs.
What I want to talk about for a moment are self-imposed, rigid, unhelpful schedules and habits. Those that are generally linked to perfectionism and self-sacrifice tendencies. Like the tyranny of endlessly checking emails, and perhaps our constant availability to work whenever, wherever. Hustle culture, the pressure to constantly be productive. Not allowing rest when rest is needed.
As I am writing this, a thought pops up: “yeah hang on AM, YOU do that. You work 7 days a week, on various projects”. Mh, true. A few years ago I had my own experience with burnout, which I realised was largely related to becoming a slave to expectations on myself, and my tendency to take on more and more work, and not being able to say ‘no’. My body eventually said ‘no’ for me, when I experienced a range of physical symptoms that later turned out to be stress and anxiety related. I came to realise that I had neglected myself, and my family and friends around me, because I was stuck in the hamster wheel of doing. My habits and routines, my self-imposed expectations had imprisoned me.
I found ways to get out of this prison, by learning to recognise the signs and signals of my body and mind when “enough is enough” and finding ways to relax and calm my nervous system, before it gets to overwhelm and breaking point. I still have a strong tendency to overwork, to take on too much, to overcommit – it’s in my nature, and it is because I am passionate about my work and people, and life! Luckily, I am aware now of those tendencies, and I have people around me who tell me when I begin to get stuck again. I don’t want to get back to that prison, I love my freedom and the joyfulness of a less structured, less busy, less rigid life.
*The article I am referring to was written by Rowan Callick in The Weekend Australian, 20.01.2024, p.1: “Epitome of grace, courage and the very best of what it means to be Australian”.
**Please note: I am certainly NOT advocating imprisonment as a way to free one’s mind!